What I've "Bean" Reading

A few months ago a friend told me about Danielle Bean, a Catholic mom and author, and pointed me in the direction of her blog. Since then I’ve read her entries and really related to how she thinks and parents her children. She also co-authors the blog for Faith & Family, a wonderful Catholic magazine for parents. I just finished reading one of her books, Mom to Mom, Day to Day Advice & Support for Catholic Living and I didn’t want to put it down! Luckily, we were embarking on a long car ride to Chicago and I didn’t have to. Here are some snippets that I’d like to share with my Mom friends out there:

“Bear in mind that, whatever your other gifts and callings may be, you are the only mother your children will ever have. And you are your husband’s only wife. That alone is hugely important. Know that being a wife and mother are the most important things you will ever do. And, regardless of outside pursuits and distractions, “just” a wife and mother always is enough.”

In response to the question she receives all the time as a mother of eight, “How do you do it?”, she writes:

“Well, I know you won’t believe me, but here’s the answer anyway: Having eight kids is easier than having one or two little ones. I should know. I once had just two children and though I loved them dearly, I wouldn’t in a million years trade the life I have now for the one I lived back then. My life with those two tiny people was overwhelming…. When I had just two little babies, going to the store was an exhausting nightmare of buckling car seats, lugging babies through stores, and struggling to carry groceries into the house while keeping everyone content. Yesterday, however… the older kids helped to buckle everyone in and then they held the younger ones’ hands in parking lots and told them, “No running or shouting in the store, OK?” When we arrived home, everyone unbuckled, I handed the house keys to my oldest son, and everyone- right down to the three year old- carried in the diaper bag and the groceries. All I had to do was waltz into the opened house with the baby in my arms.”

“God does not call the equipped, he equips the called… God gives us our daily bread, the grace we need to live up to our responsibilities one day at a time.”

On discipline:

“There’s a lot of truth in that old advice to “pick your own battles”. It makes for less conflict and less frustration. Some behaviors are just irritating or minor infractions that don’t require parental intervention every time they happen… What’s more, if you yell all the time, your family learns to tune you out… I had to give up on lazy parenting. A real bummer, I know. Here’s how non-lazy parenting works: You need to teach your children that you mean what you say the first time you say it. If you say “Please stop throwing that ball in the house” and get no response, you have to set aside the potatoes you are peeling for dinner, physically remove the ball, and find an appropriate consequence for the offender.”… If we follow through on our commands with appropriate punishments every time, it doesn’t take children long to figure out that mom means what she says- the first time- and that it’s in their best interest to respond to that first request… Messing up sometimes and losing your temper doesn’t mean you are a bad mother. It means you are human. Apologize, pray for the strength to respond more lovingly the next time, and then get back to peeling the potatoes.”

On taking children to Church:

“I will not try to convince you that taking little kids to Mass is easy, because it isn’t. And I am not going to tell you that I know some magic formula and my kids are always perfectly behaved at Mass, because I don’t and they aren’t. I am going to tell you, however, that bringing small children to Mass is worth doing… Children are more capable of a sense of reverence than we realize. They won’t learn proper behavior in Church if we never take them. And they won’t learn proper behavior in Church if we take them but give them an unspoken message of: Sit and play here for an hour while we grown-ups have our Mass and keep telling you to be quiet. They just might begin to get the right idea, if we help them to pray. If we include them. If we tell them: This is God’s house. Jesus is here in the tabernacle. We can receive Jesus in Communion. We came here to be with God and tell him how much we love him”.

On parenting philosophies:

“Through the years I’ve read many parenting books and found much helpful wisdom in many of them, “attachment parenting” books included. My reading and experience, however, have led me to the conclusion that parenting philosophies are dangerous things. In the end I’ve rejected all the expert parenting philosophies. This isn’t because there’s anything particularly bad about any of them. Experience has simply led me to employ a different parenting philosophy in their place: my own. I call mine Do What Works Best for Your Family…. In some groups with which I’ve been associated, parenting philosophy feels almost like a pseudo religion. The implication is that following a particular set of rules will make you a good mother. In fact, they imply it so effectively that many mothers (and I have been one of them) suffer from feelings of guilt and failure when things don’t go as smoothly as the books tell them they should. Well, I already have a religion, thank you… Babies know when they are loved and cared for. They know when their mothers are relaxed and happy. So when presented with a parental challenge, go ahead and read the books, talk to the experts, and survey your playgroup. In the end, however, take and use only what works best for you and your family. Toss the rest… and the guilt along with it.”

Well I’m amazed I got through all that in one sitting - both kiddos are napping at the same time for one of the first times ever, and I actually got to type it all out at once! There are so many other great things Danielle Bean has to say, I really recommend the book highly! My sister-in-law is first in line to borrow the book, but let me know if you'd like to sign up for the waiting list!

P.S. Credit goes to Jeff for the corny pun in the post title!!

Happy Three Months To Mary!

Mary Grace turns three months old today! She is such a happy baby. We are being treated to an occasional giggle here and there. And the high pitched little girly squeals have begun! She still seems so little. We got the stats this morning for the baby book, and she is only 12 lbs 5 oz. Here is her Bunny pic for the month!

Halloween Sneak Peek

What the kiddos will be wearing on October 31st this year:

Rules of the House by Mary

1. Food must be given every two hours during the day. Comply and I will sleep through the night.

2. Make that Nathaniel kid run by me every so often. He is quite entertaining!

3. Burp me well and often, or I will puke up an entire feeding all over you and you will have to start over.

4. I will tolerate the mobile for only short periods of time. Go to the bathroom quicker!

5. I insist upon wearing pink clothing only.

6. Give me a fistful of Mommy hair and I will be happy.

7. Putting me to sleep can only be achieved by rocking. Do not attempt to merely lay me down!

8. Please inform the Toddler to keep it down to a reasonable decibel level.

9. Please also inform the Toddler that I am not a Hotwheels ramp, speedway, or track.

10. If the requests above are not followed, that's ok. I will be a happy baby regardless!

A Toddler Moment

Nathaniel is at his essence a very sweet, loving and happy child, but he is not without some typical frustrating toddler moments as well. Several months ago my brother-in-law inadvertently gave me the key to keeping my patience during these trying times. While my nephew was exhibiting some toddler behavior of his own, Brian turned to those of us observing the situation and smiled and then half jokingly said to him, "Why are you acting like such a 2 year old?" Brian's wisdom and this scenario has stuck with me and helped me keep the perspective that Nathaniel has only been on the earth for 2 years, so it's normal he may have some "kinks" he needs to work out in terms of reasonable human behavior. It's also helped me hold onto my sense of humor, which in my opinion is a necessary parental survival tactic!

Last night as we were putting Nathaniel to bed he began to have a small meltdown over the fact that he didn't want to take off his beloved "Kachow" shirt, a birthday present from Great Grandma Joann that features a super cool flashing red light and images from Disney's Cars movie. However, he also wanted to wear the Dino shirt that matched his new jammies. When we tried reasoning with him that he couldn't wear two shirts at the same time, he got upset. It was late and past Nathaniel's bedtime, Jeff and I were both tired, and it was tempting to just force him into his jammies and be done with it. Suddenly we saw the humor in the situation and, hiding our smiles at poor Nathaniel's helplessness, we came up with a solution - Lambie would wear the flashing shirt, and Nathaniel the Dino one. He was intrigued by this solution and very proud to dress his stuffed animal friend in Cars gear and settle into bed for the night. Thus a major catastrophe right before bedtime was avoided!

And of course I got a picture for you all! Here are the two of them, happily awaiting a bedtime story from Daddy:

Celebrating Fall Early

On Saturday we went to a work function for Jeff's firm. They had a Family Day at an orchard a little south of us. At almost 80 degrees it was a hot day for an orchard visit, but we still had lots of fun! Here are some pictures of us apple picking. Nathaniel was already well experienced in this area after having practiced picking apples off Grandma Sandy and Papa Bob's tree over Labor Day weekend.

Say It Aint So!

My darling husband just informed me that today is the first day of Fall. While I love the season, I'm not sure I'm ready for the one looming right behind it! But when I told Jeff this, he called me Mrs. Glass Half Empty. So okay, Dear, just for you, here are my favorites about Fall that I'm getting excited about:

- Pumpkin patch
- Honeycrisp apples
- Beautiful colors on the trees
- Carving pumpkins
- Dressing up our little ones for Halloween
- Thanksgiving
- Pumpkin pie

What are your Fall favorites?

Our Little Fish

When we brought Nathaniel home from the hospital, he cried and screamed every time water touched him. He hated baths for the first few weeks. Then suddenly he relaxed in the water and started enjoying the experience. It seems that ever since, the screaming only occurs while we drag him away from the bath, shower, lake, or pool! This fall we enrolled him in swimming lessons and Daddy takes him every Saturday morning. There are no other toddlers in his class, so he gets bonus one-on-one lessons! He's already learned a lot: how to kick his legs and scoop water with his hands, floating on his back with Daddy's help, and "monkey crawling" along the side of the pool. This past Saturday Mary and I watched (well, Mary slept while I watched) from the edge of the pool and I took some action shots!

Monkey crawl!
Can't I swim some more, PLEASE?

Happy Birthday, Grandma Barb!

We hope you're having a good day!

Attention All Toddlers

Rules of the House by Nathaniel:

1. There is no such thing as an "inside voice". When Mommy and Daddy ask you to talk quieter and mention their ears hurt, or somehow bring the Baby into it and claim she's trying to sleep... only yell louder.

2. The ottoman is there in the middle of the living room for running laps around.

3. Meals should start with dessert, or a treat of some kind. When Mommy asks you what you want for breakfast, tell her ice cream, fruit snacks, or candy.

4. Toddlers must be carried all around the house while Mommy vacuums. A friend of a friend of a friend heard once about a toddler who got eaten by a vacuum cleaner. They really are dangerous things and it's nothing to be ashamed about to insist Mommy carries you instead of the Baby while cleaning. Cry pitifully if Mommy tries insisting you are a Big Boy and don't need to be carried.

5. Speaking of the "Big Boy" parenting tactic, it should be banned. Toddlers, do not fall for this trick. Mommy and Daddy are only saying that to get you to do difficult things you don't really want to do.

6. Naps and bedtime should be optional. If bedtime absolutely must occur, books must be read for hours upon hours beforehand. Keep asking for one more book until Daddy falls asleep and then you can have free reign of the house. (I have never been successful at this but I can always hope).

7. Matchbox cars must be spread all throughout the house, in every corner and on every surface. They MUST NOT be moved from their places.

8. Timeouts should be banished as form of discipline. Why would you need a timeout from something you're having so much fun doing?

9. Saying "please" should only be reserved for those things you REALLY want. I've learned that Mommy is much more likely to give into whatever demand as long as I am polite about it.

10. And, finally... the whole house should be run based on the following concept: "I want what I want when I want it and nothing else will do."

What I'm Listening To Part Two...

Jeff found this one!

Pretty In Pink

Of all the colors I've had on Mary, pink is my absolute favorite. It may be because her beautiful rosy complexion complements the pink so well... or it may be that I'm overly excited about getting to put pink on a baby after two years of blues, greens, and browns. But either way, when I saw this almost entirely bubblegum pink outfit at Target I had to snatch it up for her to wear!

Playdough Love

Recently Nathaniel discovered a newfound love for Playdough. I introduced him to it last winter and would bring it out occasionally to keep him occupied while I cooked dinner, but it never captured his interest for too long... or I would catch him eating it and have to put it away. Then over the summer our Playdough sessions were replaced by sidewalk chalk and the water table. A couple of weeks ago he played with it quite enthusiastically at his cousin's birthday party (and to my knowledge none was swallowed) so I picked up a new playdough kit at the store that includes toddler scissors, a rolling pin, and some shape cutters. (If anyone is looking to beef up their playdough supplies, Kohl's has their entire selection on sale this week!)

I got out the playdough kit this morning and set it up for Nathaniel and it was love at first sight!

I had to get an "artiste" photo for the scrapbook. Can't you almost smell that familiar playdough scent through the screen?

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?

Dr. Suess wants to know! This is one of Nathaniel's favorite books at the moment. It's all about the different noises Mr. Brown can make - Moo, Boom Boom like thunder, Choo Choo, Whisper Whisper, Slurp Slurp, Knock Knock, Grum Grum, Splatt Splatt, and Pip (the sound of a fish kiss, of course)!

Nathaniel has a special reading of it for you today:

And that's "eeeh end" of this blog post!

Grabby Grabby

Miss Mary is becoming a little grabby lately. This is great, except for when she tugs on Mommy's hair! She's been enjoying an old toy of Nathaniel's, one of my favorites because of all the bright colors, the contrasts, and the different textures. She is so focused on it and loves to grab and swat at it. When she's done grabbing and looking at it she will let it fall to her lap and then kick it off her rocking chair onto the floor. Nathaniel immediately runs over, gives it back to her and says "Here you go, Mare Mare". Then he looks at me and says "Thanks, hun"! (Because that's what I say to him whenever he does something for Mary)!

And here's a picture of the two of them playing together with the hanging animals on Mary's bouncy seat.

The Spice Drawer Incident

If you're wondering what a toddler can do when given five minutes of Mommy distraction time, check this out:

Yay for dustbusters!

Happy Birthday, Papa Rocky!

We hope you have a great day today. Don't work too hard!

To The Future Mrs. Nathaniel York

I've got him setting the table! We'll work on his technique a little bit, maybe he'll graduate someday to carrying glass dishes and cups over, but at age 2 he's already excelling at this little chore. You're welcome in advance!

Love,
Your Future Mother-In-Law

As Nathaniel Would Say...

..."Did it!!" After about 24 hours of tweaking code, my blog has a new look!

What do you think?

Under Construction

I decided to add some bling to my blog, but can I just say that HTML is NOT fun?! Jeff and I have been scratching our heads over here. Hopefully in the next couple of days we'll have the finished product up and running!

Stay tuned! :)